Hyderabad Hell at Lili

I read about Lili in a Deccan Chronicle article this morning, and thought we were lucky to get a reservation for six tonight. Bamboozled is more like it. First of all, there were two flights of stairs to get to the restaurant. No elevator, and a railing on one side only. Maybe ADA isn’t a thing in India? Thank goodness none of were wearing heels, but we did have four people over 60 years old in our party. One drink minimum, because any more than that, and you’re likely to fall down the stairs.

Our table of six was designed for four. So we held our breath and squeezed into our seats. The table had bench seating on one side for three people to squeeze into, and two giant club chairs on the other side, and another giant club chair on the short end. I had to slide the bulky club chair out so I could have enough room to slide into the chair. Only one table was occupied when we got there. so we had room to maneuver ourselves into the table. When we left though, my mom and her friend (I call her “Auntie”) barely had enough room to get out from behind the table, and their butts were in the faces of our seat neighbors. Pleasant dining experience, huh?

I thought to myself, it can only get better from here. Nope. We ordered our drinks, and I was served a delicious old-fashioned. My dad and his friend (I call him “Uncle”) were having their drinks served, only Uncle’s drink was served down the back of his Burberry polo shirt. The servers whisked Uncle away to clean him up, but no one came to clean the chairs or the floor where the drink was spilled. I got up and changed those gigantic chairs with dry ones from the table next to ours so Dad had somewhere to sit. There wasn’t much room to move the chairs around either, so it looked like I was playing musical chairs with myself. I guess one of the staff finally noticed me moving the chairs around and came to see what I was doing, so I explained what they should have done.

The food was delicious, and the drinks great, but the prices listed on the menu were still on the high end. On top of that, considering our experiences, a discount of 25-50% would have been appreciated. The only accommodation? Two tiny deserts enough for two people. 

I expressed my displeasure with the experience, and also recommended that they not take reservations for more than four people, and a discount of some amount would be appropriate. The manager just nodded their head, and our poor server wouldn’t even accept our tip, but my Auntie insisted, because his service was exemplary.  I’m sure the restaurant would have been a great experience for a table of 4 or less, but it definitely soured the experience being so crowded in such a tiny space.

My recommendation: Reserve a table of 2, 3 or 4, or sit at the bar, wear flats for the 2-floor hike, and make sure you are less than a size 2 so you can squeeze between tables and fit behind the table if you are sitting on the bench. 

Optional: wear a raincoat just in case a drink gets dropped on you.